Help Me Remember
Since February 17th, I have struggled to write. I have contemplated coming to this blog time and time again, but I have simply been too overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts to say anything clearly. I have been faithful to continue journaling, something that has been an outlet for me since I was a young girl, but I have not been able to formulate a single thought that would have been worthy to share here.When I finally logged on today, I was in awe of what God had spoken to my heart the last time I wrote. I was struggling with my faith, struggling to maintain control over a life that was no longer mine, and ultimately, I was asking God to take me to places that my feet would never wander on their own, to take me to a place where I was empty and He was all I had left. Let me tell you that God answered that prayer. I would have never imagined in January when I wrote that blog that my life would look like it does today. I am not sure that what I am writing today will make much sense, because I am still struggling for the right words to share, but I will try.
This journey started when I answered the phone at 5:45 am on the morning of Matthew's accident, when I didn't know if he'd live or die. It has been a hard road. The days have been long and tiring and I have been at the end of my rope many days. God has been faithful to pick up where I ended. He has carried me through each moment with so much love and compassion and I have grown through this trial. I love my husband more today than I did three months ago. I have been reminded that this life is so short and we are not promised another breath. I have learned that it is in the ordinary that life is so often changed and it is almost always when we least expect it. In my darkest moments on this journey, I only cared that my husband had been spared, that my children were well, and that I had friends that never left my side. For the most part, I have been so thankful for the everyday moments and riding the high of a having everything intact that I almost lost.
But today, I was burdened by so many cares.Today, I let one circumstance take my eyes off of all God has done for me and I was instantly frustrated and tired. It is always like that when we walk in our own strength. This fallen world we live in is full of disappointments and trials. Friends will fail us, but God is still good. The enemy will tempt us to forget, but God is still enough. Life will be harder than we ever expected, but God's promises are still awaiting us.
My prayer is that I wouldn't so easily forget how good God has been to me. When the days are long, when friends aren't faithful, when hurts of this world are pricking at my heart, help me remember, Lord. Help me remember.
Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His loving kindness is everlasting.
Psalms 36:5 Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.
This journey started when I answered the phone at 5:45 am on the morning of Matthew's accident, when I didn't know if he'd live or die. It has been a hard road. The days have been long and tiring and I have been at the end of my rope many days. God has been faithful to pick up where I ended. He has carried me through each moment with so much love and compassion and I have grown through this trial. I love my husband more today than I did three months ago. I have been reminded that this life is so short and we are not promised another breath. I have learned that it is in the ordinary that life is so often changed and it is almost always when we least expect it. In my darkest moments on this journey, I only cared that my husband had been spared, that my children were well, and that I had friends that never left my side. For the most part, I have been so thankful for the everyday moments and riding the high of a having everything intact that I almost lost.
But today, I was burdened by so many cares.Today, I let one circumstance take my eyes off of all God has done for me and I was instantly frustrated and tired. It is always like that when we walk in our own strength. This fallen world we live in is full of disappointments and trials. Friends will fail us, but God is still good. The enemy will tempt us to forget, but God is still enough. Life will be harder than we ever expected, but God's promises are still awaiting us.
My prayer is that I wouldn't so easily forget how good God has been to me. When the days are long, when friends aren't faithful, when hurts of this world are pricking at my heart, help me remember, Lord. Help me remember.
Psalm 118:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His loving kindness is everlasting.
Psalms 36:5 Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.
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